Ugghhh.....

The past couple of days have been somewhat like torture! I have been trying to put off taking a pregnancy test until Sunday (tomorrow) and trying not to read into my cycle and period anymore than usual. This morning was the big Coast Guard Yard Sale on the base, and I knew that there would be TONS of baby/ kids things, but nothing could have prepared me for the parade of strollers, slings, and pregnant bellies that were shoved in my face. I mean, of coarse the Yard Sale is the perfect place to go when you are expecting, or have a small child since it is so hard to get anything here, but I was really hoping to find a gently used dining table, or some really cool wall decorations, and instead I left bruises on the back of my heels from getting ran over by a stroller one too many times. I had no luck finding anything... except way too many boxes of girl scout cookies, and ended up leaving with a sunken heart.

My cycle has been gradually getting longer (started out at 27 days, then 29, then 30, then 33) and today is the day that my period is due to show her ugly face! I of coarse have those awesome cramps going on, but that is about it. I couldn't take it anymore, and decided to take a pregnancy test first thing this morning... and you guessed it! Big Fat Negative! Ugghhhh... I don't know why I get so discouraged when I KNOW it is going to be negative, but I somehow always seem to convince myself into having a little hope and praying for a miracle. At this point, I just wish I could have a regular period so that it could be slightly easier to figure out when I am ovulating. And the most pathetic part of all of this is in the back of my head I keep thinking, "Well, it's not over until my period shows..." even though I know it will show any day.

Thankfully, Kevin is home this weekend to help keep me preoccupied, and to console me when I just cant take it anymore. We have another date with his co-workers at the bowling alley tonight, and we will be trying our first church in Kodiak tomorrow morning. When I stay busy I don't seem to to think about all of this as much, so if you can't tell...I'm trying to keep as busy as possible!!