Needing to Vent...

WARNING... this post will more than likely be a bunch of whiny rambling (but it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to...)

Lately I have been so frustrated and just flat out SAD. I'm tired of not being pregnant with a baby on the way. I'm tired of convincing myself that someday it will happen, and that it just hasn't been the right time. And I'm very tired of feeling like everyone around me has no problem getting pregnant!

Being a military wife, it is not uncommon to meet other spouses who had their first child when they were 18-19 years old. So far in Kodiak, the two spouses I have met both have 3 children. One is 38 and the other is 27. TWENTY SEVEN!!! Are you kidding me! She has a 7, 5, and 2 year old. What kills me even more is the fact that basically every weekend that their husbands are off, they get a babysitter to come spend the night, so they can go to the bars and get wasted. I'm sure as children get older, you feel the need to get out and have some adult time, and possibly a drink or two, but I can't imagine myself having kids and getting drunk and posting all my crazy pictures on facebook.

It is people like this that make it difficult for people like me. It just doesn't seem fair... I don't want to go out and get drunk every weekend! I want to be able to sit at home with my "family" and just love on my baby.

But just wait... I have an even better story that will top that one!

A guy that Kevin went to A-school with is stationed here in Kodiak as well. While they were in school he dated this girl that was just CRAZY. She caused all kinds of issues for Kevin, stating that he sexually harassed her, etc. This guy (Mike) finally realized she was crazy once they graduated from A-school, and from then on has said he is done with her. Well, he started getting phone calls about a week ago saying that the girl was going through a miscarriage and due to lots of blood loss may die. He didn't believe any of it, and actually said that it was more than likely her calling using an accent (which ended up being the truth). He ended up getting an email from his officer the other day stating that the girl is in fact pregnant. COME ON NOW!! Kevin and I WANT a baby, try really hard to make a baby, and still get nothing! But for some reason, drunk stupid people seem to always get knocked up with no problems at all!

So last night we hung out with Mike to try and talk to him about the situation and see how he is doing. I was shocked to hear that he is going to fight for custody. Because the girl is so crazy, he doesn't trust her raising a child, and I actually respect him for that decision. Kevin and I offered him any help that we can provide, especially if he does gain custody. It will be interesting to see how all of this spans out, so I'm sure I will have some updates along the way.

I really do have a lot more whines left in me, but it has gotten so late that I'm falling asleep (and I'm sure this post is putting everyone who is reading it to sleep). I just feel like I have this huge hole in my chest, and each month that passes, it gets bigger and bigger. I'm ready to get this ovulation situation under control, and then go from there!