Always in Our Thoughts

Today should be a wonderful, glorious, "Thank the Lord" type of day. It is Easter Sunday and our first full day in Kodiak. For the most part Kevin and I have been able to enjoy a nice day together, but on the flip side there are a few things that are really weighing heavy on my heart.

First of all, like many of you know, today is what would have been my due date. I have actually been able to handle things much better than I was anticipating, although I have somehow managed to just shove most of my thoughts/emotions into the back of my head. Kevin and I met up with his roommate from A-School for lunch and then made our first trip to the Kodiak Wal-Mart to check it out. The first thing I wanted to see when we walked in was what their baby section was like, and how good of a selection they had. Kevin thought I must have lost my mind, or I was going to have a huge melt down in Wal-Mart, but for some reason I felt totally at ease the entire time. I went into the pharmacy area, and was able to find a month supply of ovulation tests, and I will begin taking them tomorrow. I don't know if it is because there are several people out there praying for us right now, but today I have mainly felt at peace. I know that no matter what, we will always think about and remember what it felt like to go through the miscarriage, and to wonder what our baby would have been like, but I know that our time will come and it will be better than we could ever imagine it to be.

Secondly, I have a close friend who is going through something similar, yet completely different at the same time. My heart hurts for her and her husband, and I just wish there was more that I could do for them. Watching other people suffer through the loss of a baby is one of those things that truly makes me question God. For the most part I know that there is a reason things happen and that God has a plan and is in total control of everything, but why would he ever put anyone through such a horrible heartahce. I'm praying that this family can get through the pain of this loss, come back strong, and get pregnant again quickly!

I hope everyone enjoyed a nice Easter, and I look forward to starting the count down to ovulation!